It was REALLY not the right time in my life at that point, for various reasons, so I filed the idea away in the back of my head… Fast forward to 2001, I finally found myself in a position to pursue surrogacy.

I applied, was accepted into the program & decided to try AI (Artificial Insemination) because after some careful consideration, I really didn’t think it would bother me to use my egg for this & also I really did not like the idea of putting all those hormones into my body if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. I worked with a couple living in Israel for about 9 months, they were truly wonderful people, they came to visit several times & we really enjoyed spending time together,  but never achieved a pregnancy, so eventually they decided to stop & we parted ways.  The agency matched me with a second couple, from Spain, which I was super excited to work with since I’d lived in Spain as a child & still speak decent Spanish… we had a phone call & some emails to get to know each other (yes, it IS kind of like a dating service!) but they ended up having impossible-to-solve Visa problems which meant he could never come to the US & we never even got to meet before we had to call it a day…

Third time’s a charm, right?  Wrong!  I was matched with a sweet couple from Colorado.  We tried about 4-5 times and they suddenly quit.  Trouble in paradise?  Who knows!  All I knew was I was getting SUPER frustrated that it wasn’t working.  I mean, I got pregnant with Kanan when I wasn’t even trying so WHY was this SO flippin’ hard??!

The agency made it clear that although none of the fertility doctors thought it was ‘my fault’ that I wasn’t getting pregnant, they felt if I did not switch to the IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) program, that it would be impossible to match me, as couples might see the lack of conception as a big risk, and since surrogacy is not cheap for them, I could understand them not wanting to take such a risk.  I was really not ready to give up on this dream after trying so hard & for nearly 3 years!  So I bit the bullet & switched to the IVF program.  I was matched quickly with a family from New York & everything moved along very fast.

During the summer, I went thru a mock-cycle so the doctors could make sure my body responded to the protocol correctly, and on our first try, we transferred 3 embryos right around Labor Day 2004.  Two of them stuck & I was pregnant with twins! (Something I had originally hoped to avoid by doing AI!  oh well!)

We did an Amnio about 4 months, so we knew they were both girls.  It was very smooth, once the morning sickness stage passed, the pregnancy was easy & I had LOTS of support.  My family was great!  I attended monthly meetings with other surrogates, one of which lived very close to me, so we became fast friends, carpooling to meetings & helping each other get to appointments & such… we are still friends to this day, sharing a very special bond that I think only women who’ve done this can really know…

Kanan’s Birthday party, March ’05

We had lots of lovely visits with my family & theirs, including a sweet baby shower where I was the guest of honor & my grandmother was invited, she was thrilled to be there & meet this family that I crazy enough to do this for!  We did ultrasounds, 4-D Video ultrasounds and it was a very exciting time!  I really enjoyed being pregnant once the first trimester sickies were over!  It was a picture perfect (other than some sleeping issues)!

Because I worked in a professional environment, there was a clothing allowance to buy a nice maternity wardrobe, so I enjoyed buying cute, girly maternity clothes, though none of them lasted very long because I got SO big!

Me & Great Uncle Bruno – I think my belly was bigger than his!

The family urged me to consider a planned C-Section, they’d had a close friend deliver twins naturally & one of the babies had some trauma, lost oxygen flow for a tad too long & was just ‘not quite right’ as a result. Although I really didn’t want to, as I felt I was up for a natural birth (even with twins!), but I conceded because in the end because these weren’t my babies, not my risk to take, you know?  How horrible would I have felt if I’d insisted on having my way & any little thing went wrong???

My lovely & talented cousin, Kristina did a mini photo shoot

So on May 12, 2005, we arrived at the hospital (the same one Kanan was born in, working with the same lovely doctor that delivered him) and with little fuss, two gorgeous & HEALTHY baby girls were born into this world.  My immediate family was there with me, my sister was in the OR & many others came to visit.  The new babies’ family also came from all over the states – it was great – we basically took over a whole wing of the maternity ward!

My sis, Kirstin, feeding me ice chips after the C-Section, I was SOOOOO itchy & thirsty!

Holding one of the twins after I got moved to a room & they were done in the nursery

Kanan meets the girls

Everyone was thrilled that all had gone so well, so very perfectly well.  That night, my mom stayed with me in the hospital, she insisted she would not leave me because suddenly after all the excitement died down, and the family had left for the night I went on this crazy crying jag & could seem to stop.  I’m sure she thought the worst, that I was depressed or having second thoughts or something like that… but even now, after all this time has passed, I think I was just overcome with joy that everything had gone well…  and yet sad/overwhelmed that the journey was over. It had been SO long coming, you know?  SO much time & energy spent to get there & it was over so quickly!  The twins left the hospital the next morning.  I got to hold them both several times & we all took lots of pictures, and the family made a point to come back the next night (since I was still in hospital) to say a proper good-bye.

It was tough, but only because it was over.  There was, of course, talk of future visits & pictures and words of love and appreciation said from both sides.  It truly was a perfect experience, I felt I could not have asked for more.

I did receive some pictures shortly after they got home, and again after their first birthday, time had FLOWN by that year (that’s a whole ‘nother post!) – it was truly unbelievable!  They were so cute & so grown up!   It would have been so nice to visit & see the new family ’in action’, but it seems that was not meant to be… our last contact was in 2007.

They just turned five a couple weeks ago and so I guess although there has not been any contact for quite some time, and I’ve never seen them again, it’s kind of impossible to not ‘be aware’ of them around Mother’s Day.  So here is my story.  I hope I’ve done it justice.  I know for me, it feels good to just know that I’ve FINALLY ‘put it down on paper’, so to speak.  Namaste, girls.  I wish you the best life you can have.

Oat Scones - Martha Stewart

Here’s another Recipe Remake, NT Style: (my changes are in Parentheses)

Makes 8 biscuits

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface (Sprouted Soft White Wheat)
• 1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats (Organic, and preferably soaked in buttermilk 12 hours prior)
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar (Organic)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder (Rumford)
• 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt (Celtic Sea Salt)
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces and chilled (Trader Joe’s or Kerrygold Unsalted)
• 1/2 cup dried cherries (Organic or Organic Raisins or Dried Cranberries)
• 1 large egg, beaten (Farm Fresh, Pastured, no soy or corn feed)
• 1/4 cup buttermilk, plus more for brushing (home made with Organic Raw Milk)
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract (homemade)
• 1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract (skipped, used all Vanilla instead, bit only because I don’t have it on hand)
• Fine sanding sugar, for sprinkling (Organic Sugar, very lightly!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. (I found these spread too much if baked right away, so I pat in a disc, use a bench scraper to pre-cut into eight wedges, wrap up in Stretch-tite & freeze for a few hours. Then preheat oven, take out of freezer, cut, place on silpat, brush tops with buttermilk, lightly sprinkle with sugar & then FINALLY bake.)

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, oats, granulated sugar, baking powder, and salt. Using a pastry cutter or your fingers, cut butter into oat mixture until the mixture resembles a coarse meal; whisk in dried cherries. In another medium bowl, mix together egg, buttermilk, and vanilla and almond extracts until well combined. Add egg mixture to flour mixture; mix until well combined. (When I Pre-Soaked the oats, I’d already used 1/4 cup buttermilk for the soaking, so I did not add any more until I saw how dry the mixture looked once the butter was incorporated, I then added a splash at a time until it looked moist enough to hold together. Maybe about 1/8 cup…?)

Turn out dough onto a lightly floured work surface; roll out to 1-inch-thick 8-by-6-inch rectangle (circle). Cut biscuits into eight 2-by-3-inch rectangles (wedges) using a sharp knife; transfer biscuits to prepared baking sheet. Brush biscuits with buttermilk and sprinkle with sanding sugar.

Transfer biscuits to oven and bake until tops are lightly browned, 18 to 20 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool slightly before serving. (Slathered with Kerrygold!)

From The Martha Stewart Show, January 2009

A few “random thoughts” about them…

I’ve been privileged to celebrate 14 years of Mother’s Days as mother to Kanan Phoenix. AKA Ven, AKA The Phoenix, AKA kiddo….he’s such a character!  See us being goofy?  :)  Naw, we’re not related…

It’s impossible to talk about Mother’s Day without thinking of all the “mother’s” in my life…most have passed on now, but at one point, we had FIVE generations alive!   Now my mom is the Matriarch at a very young age, but when Kanan was young, both her mother & her mother’s mother were alive & well! Kanan used to say (when he was little, of course) that he “had 5 families”.

Just five Mother’s Days ago, I was mere days away from giving birth to twins, as a surrogate mother.  See the giant belly with the plate of food resting on it?  See the heart, that is an artsy rendition of my hands forming a heart around my VERY stretched out belly button during that pregnancy.

See my grandmother on my dad’s side?  This picture is Maravilla Gardens, my sister, Kirstin & I took her for a Mother’s Day Tea… it was a gorgeous day… turns out, it was her last one, she passed away that same year, in the fall.

And then there’s my mother.  She & dad came to spend the day and get to know my girls (the chickens) for the first time.  We had a lovely relaxing day while Joe took the Rooster Garden garden ornament that Kanan bought me for my Mother’s Day gift and turned it into a weather vane-type thing to put on top of the Chicken Condo!  See it?  Isn’t it gorgeous?  Casa de los Huevos is what we christened the coop, which really fits us because our house is Casa de Tocino (Bacon).

Mother’s Day = Love & Family

Hope there are many more to come!

It took about a week & a half to decide on their names, we dithered quite a bit… We thought about several themes (Chicken Run, Lost Characters, old lady names), but as each revealed their personalities… these are the names that stuck:  Penny & Yoshi (the brown twins), Ginger (white w/copper spots), Tallulah Belle (or Raven, we still go back-n-forth – she’s the black one, of course), Sugar (white) & Pepper (the black & grey).

 

This is partof Real Food Wednesdays 

Banana-Raisin Bread Pudding

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with rack set in lower third. Butter a shallow 2-quart baking dish; set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, vanilla, salt, and 1/2 cup sugar until combined; whisk in milk. Add bread, bananas, and raisins; toss gently to combine. Set aside to let bread absorb liquid, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Transfer mixture to prepared baking dish; sprinkle with remaining tablespoon sugar. Bake until a toothpick inserted in center of bread pudding comes out clean, 50 to 60 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes before serving.   I served it with Coffee Ice Cream, it was divine!  But it’s actually a bit better the next day, once the flavors have a chance to meld together a bit….You can re-warm in the oven, covered.

*I keep a freezer bag in the door of my freezer (so it’s easy to access & not forget about).  Instead of tossing the ends or stale bread into the compost bin, I put it in the freezer specifically for this purpose, or for making healthy homemade bread crumbs)

So, here’s an example of me trying to be more frugal.  I saw an opportunity to buy bulk bacon thru my CSA so I grabbed it!  It cost me $30 for a 3- 3.5 lb slab of nitrate-free bacon rom pastured pork.  I usually buy Neiman Ranch from Trader Joe’s or the British Back Bacon from Fresh & Easy (although I don’t think they use pastured or sustainably raised pork)… point being, I am accustomed to paying about $4.50 for a package of bacon that is not even a whole pound!  So, although initally I thought that $8.5-$10/lb seemd high, I think it all works out in the wash, plus this was nitrate-free!  Which is not as easy to find!

It was frozen, so it came home & was promptly tossed in the deep freeze to deal with at a later time….

Guess what?!  One homey Saturday morning, “time” came:

This is what it looked like whole.

I tried slicing it a couple different sizes…

They curled up like this as they sliced off the slab, but I just unfurled them & laid them out like store-bought bacon c0mes & repacked them in 1 lb & 1/2 lb. packages.  I had to work quickly to keep it frozen.  I vacuum sealed them & popped most back in the freezer for later and of course, we immediately fried up a good portion for breakfast & enjoyed it crumbled inside sourdough pancakes, topped with Kerrygold & real maple syrup – YUM SCRUM!

Click here to get the scoop!

Chili Cheese Fries

Joe Bacon tries O!burger for the first time

All Organic Cheeseburger, fries & Sky Cola

Food: All Organic, even a whole grain bun (wish they’d go one step further to a Sprouted one, but better than nuthin’).  Very short, simple menu, but laid out very clearly & everything sounded good.  We chose to split a Cheeseburger (again, one step further would be raw organic cheese).  

The meat is grass-fed.  Everything else is fresh & organic.  

The fries are cooked in Sunflower oil – Can I get a “Woot Woot!”?  They were VERY tasty plain, but you can get organic ketchup too.  We gobbled up the regular fries & went back for an order of Chili Cheese Fries – they were heavenly!  The guy brought them to our table with a side of Chipotle Sauce, for an extra ‘kick” – so yummy! 

Atmosphere: Good music, clean, colorful, super friendly staff.  Very Eco-conscious, real dishes (note the cool metal bowl the chili fries came in), they give you 1-2 napkins each instead of a stack, you can ask for more, but they try to waste…. 

Taste:  YUM-O! 

Value:  Portions a little on the small side…  I think we paid about $13 for the Burger, fries & coke, then went back for chili fries that were another $4 or so… we always split things to control our portions, but also so we can try more things…. but that said, we truly appreciate the value of being able to grab something out that is not complete junk.  Grass-fed beef  & organic produce is definitely high on our list of priorities! 

Verdict: Will we go back?  Heck Yah!  I just wish it was closer to us & the paths we frequent… 

This is part of Real Food Wednesdays.

See me with my cowgirl boots?  I know, I’m a wannabe!  What can I say!